Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Housekeeping


For as long as I can remember, I have carried around anger. I'm quite certain that this anger is displaced and not sure whether this anger is even directed at someone or something that is real.

Back when I was 11 years old, I blamed God for my mother's death. It was perfect and convenient. It worked for me at the time. It was ALL.HIS.FAULT.

God never stopped by to tell me that it wasn't his fault. He never denied it once. It just worked for me to blame him.

It doesn't work for me anymore.

Carrying anger or hate for anyone sucks away your energy and your happiness with life. This I know and I've always tried my damnedest not to carry hate for anyone, except God. I've always tried, albeit not always successfully, to empathize and understand just why people do what they do and why they treat others like crap, except God.

So, that is where I stand at this point in my quest for contentment. I have come to realize that God, whether he/she is real or not, is not where my anger should be placed. I just need to let it go. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

There are a select few bloggers that I give credit for helping me find my way in life. They have no idea who the heck I am and no idea how much they have had an impact on my life by giving me hope.

Crystal, you inspire!

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