Monday, June 16, 2008

Note to Self


Wildberry coolers are for sipping. Do not exceed three or four.

PS - Wildberry vomit looks like blood.

Monday, June 9, 2008

The Cowardly Lion


There are things in my life that I need to get straight and yet, I avoid them. I have asked others for advice or answers and I get the same response, "Only you can decide" and "Only you truly know what you want."

I realize that this is my decision, but I suppose that I want to put the responsibility on someone else and have them make the decision for me. Ugh, I frustrate myself with my cowardness.

I think I use the excuse that I am not sure what I want so that I can avoid making that decision and following through. Deep down, I do know what I want but change, or the unknown, scares me so I am constantly second guessing myself. And the change I want to make affects so many people which only adds more uncertainty and scares me more.

All too often, I feel like I am running in a hamster wheel. It seems like this is the way it is both in trying to keep my house clean and trying to live my life. I'm running and I'm not getting anywhere.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Think I Hear Them Calling

Sunday was a day of rest and relaxation for me. I decided to go out and get a good chick flick and spend my evening sprawled out on the couch.

I rented the movie "The Notebook". And oh, I cried. It was just a beautiful love story about two people in with this passion for one another. Do I think a love like this exists? Meh, I don't know. I think that love can feel that way at times but it's not realistic to think that this can last. Or is it?

Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you just wish you could devour them? Ya ok, wait, I don't mean eat them (necessarily). Have you ever felt like you just wanted your body to meld with someone else's while you are laying there in their arms? I don't just mean this in a sexual way. I'm dreaming about intimacy and love.

I know and I'm sorry. This movie just got under my skin. I'm a sap.

Truth is, I've been thinking about this post for a couple of days now. I had it pretty much written in my head. Sitting here now, I can't find it.

Until next time.