Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Meh, Another New Year




I've never been a fan of New Year's Eve. I find it depressing and have felt this way for as long as I can remember.

I don't know what it is that saddens me on this day. It seems so overrated to me, and I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to celebrate...that I've lived another year? that I can still make it to midnight?

I always enjoy getting together with friends. I love making food and snacks, etc., for our little New Year's get together. I love hosting a party! I just don't like the countdown to midnight or everyone kissing and hugging at midnight. It makes me uncomfortable for some reason. It also saddens me for reasons of which I'm just not sure.

One New Year's Eve, I'd like to go to bed at 11 pm (preferably not alone!) and just skip the festivities and pleasantries. It'll happen one year. Until then....le sigh.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's All About Her

Every morning at about 6:30, my daughter scoots into bed with me for that last hour of sleep.

This morning, I could see the very top of her head sticking out of the blanket and I could hear her breathing.

I could feel my heart swell. It doesn't get any better than that.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

It's Not You. It's me.

Dear Blog:

I just haven't been feeling you lately. Is it because I've been feeling better about myself as of late? Perhaps but I'm not sure. I've even shut you off so that the no one can read what I write now. Don't worry, the shut off is only temporary. I'm just savouring the silence.

I like that I can be a fairweather friend with you, Blog. I like that I can use you to share my confusion and sadness at times.

Maddy

Thursday, December 11, 2008




I'm not knocking or drugs or anything by posting this picture. In fact, some drugs may help you see less of the ugliness in other people. I'm just sayin'.


Thursday, December 4, 2008

My Numerology Portrait

Meh, I'm not sure what I think of this. There are some hits and misses here. I can agree that I'm not one to go with the status quo, but I'm not a domineering person by any means. I'm not loud enough and although I'm quite passionate in my beliefs, I'm not one to force them on others.



Numerology Portrait for Maddy

Your Soul Number is FIVE.

A deep inner restlessness and discontent with the status quo makes you seek out adventure, excitement, and the unconventional. You thrive on new ideas, change, travel, experimenting with new ways of doing things. Predictability and routine make you feel lifeless and unhappy so you must find a lifestyle that is varied enough to be mentally stimulating and challenging. Independent, freedom-loving, and easily bored, you have trouble making commitments and finishing projects. You often "move on" prematurely, whether in a personal relationship or in your work. You need to develop discipline and perseverance when you have an important goal.

You have many talents and need many outlets and avenues for their expression, but try to finish one thing before attempting the next.

You also learn quickly and enjoy "turning on" others to new horizons and discoveries. Getting people out of their mental ruts and sparking their minds may be what you do best.


Your Personality Number is FIVE.

You are outgoing and expressive with an engaging, lively verbal style. Quick-witted and fluent, you can be a sparkling conversationalist or persuasive salesman. There is also a mischievous playfulness about you and you may be a terrible tease. You like to poke fun at more serious or pompous individuals.

You are quite magnetic and attractive to the opposite sex, and you need a lot of mental and emotional stimulation in order to be happy. It is good for you to have many friends and acquaintances of both sexes.

You are rarely still and you appear restless, as if you were itching to get up and go someplace. You quickly become impatient if your environment is not interesting and varied. You don't want to miss anything. You may seem fickle and undependable to others.

You appear youthful regardless of your age, and you like to be up to date. You pay attention to fashion trends and will experiment with the latest styles and fads. You enjoy dressing for dramatic effect and sometimes wear unusual, attention-getting combinations.


Your Destiny Number is ONE.

You are creative, inventive, and innovative, and it is your desire to make some unique contribution to the world. Following in others' footsteps is not for you. Independence, self-reliance, and originality are your keywords. You achieve success through your own initiative and efforts, and it is best for you to work alone or be at the head of things. You are not a team player, and do not cooperate very well with others. Sacrificing your own beliefs or desires in order to "fit in" just doesn't work for you. You rarely listen to advice or ask for outside help either. You need to be a free agent, to decide for yourself, experiment, and make your own mistakes.

You can be very self-centered without even realizing it, oblivious to the concerns of others. Your own interests and projects take precedence over everything else.

You want to be "Number One". Just be certain you don't trample over others on your way to your goal or you will alienate them and become the "odd man out".


You Career Number is ONE.

You are suited for activities calling for creativity, originality, inventiveness, courage, and initiative. You are a pioneer and explorer. Avoid partnerships - you are a dominant individual who needs to be in charge.

Careers and Vocations: Leader, executive, director, manager, foreman, head of a department, owner of your own business, inventor, originator and promoter of new methods or products, free-lancer, contractor, independent operator, self-made man or woman.


Your Missing Number(s) are:

TWO: Cultivate diplomacy, a valuable trait that can only help you as you develop emotionally, psychically, and mentally. Be more flexible -- try to truly cooperate, compromise, and appreciate another's point of view. Hone an awareness of others' needs and concerns. Remember that a take-no-prisoners attitude will only harm everyone -- including you -- in the end.

SIX: Try spending more time on the home front. Don't neglect your loved ones, who may need you more than you know. An increased interest in your community, whether on a local or global scale, can only help you develop your sense of self and let you reach your true goals. Now is the time to develop more loving concern for others. Realize that the personal touch and caring is more valuable than any strictly material gift you could give.

EIGHT: Try to develop an interest and an education in financial and legal matters to prevent mistakes with your finances. Learn how to manage time and resources more efficiently. Do you have a sense of what goals, both materially and spiritually, you would like to reach? Do you have ideas about how to start working toward them? If not, it's time to get practical. Educate yourself in the ways of the world, and you'll avoid making foolish decisions.


Your First Vowel is A.


Your instinctive response to any situation is ACTION. You are decisive and bold, and you meet life head on. You think for yourself, you know what you want and you go after it directly. Impulsive and headstrong, it will take you many years before you learn to look before you leap. You have a sense of adventure and a willingness to try a new path.

It is difficult for you to be still, to wait, or to allow situations to resolve themselves in their own time. You always want to DO something, get everything up front, resolve the problem. It is hard for you to live with ambivalence and uncertainty.

You cannot be deceptive or hide your true thoughts and intentions very easily. You are generally unafraid of what other people think of you. You dare to be yourself. Often, in fact, you appear oblivious to the impact your actions have on other people, and you may seem arrogant.


Your First Initial is M.

You are a loyal, conscientious, and giving person, who takes your work and personal responsibilities seriously. Others depend upon you, often heavily, and you are willing to take on the troubles and burdens of other people. You have very strong family ties which may require emotional or financial sacrifices on your part, and you are often the one to whom others turn in times of need. You may experience many emotional or physical difficulties, or help others to overcome such problems. You are compassionate and comforting to people in distress, but must be wary of becoming immersed and overwhelmed by others' sorrows. Avoid becoming a martyr. Marriage is very important to you and the love and security of a stable home and family are among your most cherished desires.