Monday, June 9, 2008

The Cowardly Lion

There are things in my life that I need to get straight and yet, I avoid them. I have asked others for advice or answers and I get the same response, "Only you can decide" and "Only you truly know what you want."

I realize that this is my decision, but I suppose that I want to put the responsibility on someone else and have them make the decision for me. Ugh, I frustrate myself with my cowardness.

I think I use the excuse that I am not sure what I want so that I can avoid making that decision and following through. Deep down, I do know what I want but change, or the unknown, scares me so I am constantly second guessing myself. And the change I want to make affects so many people which only adds more uncertainty and scares me more.

All too often, I feel like I am running in a hamster wheel. It seems like this is the way it is both in trying to keep my house clean and trying to live my life. I'm running and I'm not getting anywhere.

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