What Colour is Your Passion?

Your Passion is Yellow

You're a total sexual shape shifter. You possess a complex sex drive and are very adaptable. Of all the colors, you are the most likely to be bisexual. While you the most passionate, you are very open minded.

What Color Is Your Passion?

Not the Only One

I was in a daze, movin' in the wrong direction
Feelin' that I'd always be the lonely one
Then I saw your face, on the edge of my horizon
Whisperin' that I wasn't the only one
The lonely one
Once chance intervention, see what it can signify
The slightest misapprehension, baby
And we'd have passed each other by
When I heard your sweet voice callin'
Saw your light come shinin' through
I couldn't stop my heart from turning
Churnin' out my love for you, my love to you
I was in a daze, movin' in the wrong direction
Feelin' that I'd always be the lonely one
Then I saw you face, on the edge of my horizon
Whisperin' that I wasn't the only one
The lonely one
True love or perfection
It seems like it's overdue
Then just when you least expect it
It comes sneakin' up on you
When I thought that I was dreaming
Felt your body close to mine
Now love takes on a different meaning
Together till the end of time
I was in a daze, movin' in the wrong direction
Feelin' that I'd always be the lonely one
Then I saw you face, on the edge of my horizon
Whisperin' that I wasn't the only one
The lonely one
I was in a daze, movin' in the wrong direction
Feelin' that I'd always be the lonely one
When I saw your face through the web of my confusion
Whisperin' that I wasn't the only one
The lonely one

Go Ahead, Ask Me Why

I'm quite certain that some of you who may read this blog wonder why the hell I am spewing my personal thoughts online for all to read. I know this because I can imagine that A LOT of people that I know are not familiar with blogging and are only coming here by following the link from my Facebook profile.

At the same time, I know that there are fellow bloggers out there reading this who are fully understanding about this need to connect, to share, to rant.

My need to connect is all about that self-realizing light-bulb moment, "Holy fuck, I feel that way too! I'm not the only one!!" It's something I've never truly experienced as an adult, until I started meeting online friends.

I don't know what this says about my real-life friends. It in no way means that they aren't good friends or good people. It's just that they aren't so much into sharing thoughts and/or feelings so much as me. I've always been too willing to share a little too much information. Perhaps I crave attention so much that I'll reach out to whomever may be listening or perhaps I have no shame. I don't know.

I guess I just look at it like, "This is me. Take me as I am." I have faults, and, in fact, I'm kind of proud of my faults at times. It's what makes me my quirky and sexy/nerdy self (simply had to throw the sexy in there!).

I have issues with depression. There are times, like when I'm not medicated, that I can feel it running through my body. Depression is not easy to describe or perhaps I'm not quite skilled enough with my writing to articulate the feelings just yet. It is like a huge loneliness and sadness that envelops the mind. Yes, I may be lonely but the thought of being around people, smiling and happy people at that, can be pure torture, so I wallow in the darkness finding various methods to medicate or to escape reality so that I can function and so that no one really knows.

At the same time, I have responsibilities and I am responsible if nothing else. I am a mom and an employee. I have a house that needs cleaning and clothes that need to be washed. Each day, I get up and go through the motions when I would truly just love to curl up in a ball in my room with nothing but silence and my cat.

Life goes on and so do I. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that reading blogs and blogging allows me to connect - to understand and be understood. I need that.