Not Sure What Title to Use - A Little of this and a Little of That?

The best definition of integrity that I have heard is that it's "what you do when no one else is looking."  I value integrity in others because I have been burned, like most people.  I want to have integrity and think I do in a lot of aspects in my life with the one exception being my sex life.  I'm still working on figuring that out.


Last night, I went to the Vagina Monologues with some friends.  It was all right I suppose, but I just don't think that my vagina is all that complicated.  She's a straight forward girl with simple wants and needs.   It seemed a little odd to me to be listening to an adult chronicle the discovery her genitals for the first time with a mirror.  I can't relate.  Although I don't recall the details, I believe that it's likely I conducted my discoveries with the mirror when I was nine or ten.  At this point in my life, I can find my clitoris wearing a blindfold.  Heck, the mirror can be there for fun but it's not required.


I'm aging and I can see it happening.  The skin around my eyes is changing.  My body is changing.  It's not making me ugly necessarily.  I'm only 38 soon to be 39 years old.  I just don't look as young anymore.  It disturbs me a little, but I kind of like it too.  I feel like it makes me less superficial or vain.  You'll have to look a little deeper than before to appreciate me.   I'll have to look a little deeper than before to appreciate me.


Signing out for now.

Because I'm weird like that.

I'm cranky today and I was yesterday as well.  Being cranky makes me horny which is sort of strange.  Something about getting the frustrations fucked out of me is appealing.

Tonight, I will chill, smoke many doobies and watch Intervention.

20 Things about Me - Still a work in progress

It has been three years since I started this blog and one to one and half years since I have posted regularly.  I thought the first thing I should do is update my "Things About Me" post since I have grown.  I still can't figure myself out but I do know that I have changed.  Some things never change and some do.

1. I have this appreciation for raw/real people who don't really give a sh*t about what others think. To clarify, I'm not talking about people who have no regard for others but those people who are comfortable with themselves and can admit to both their positive and negative attributes. Keep it real baby!

2. I love to read and have been known to become engrossed in a a few shampoo bottles in my day.... (ah yes, bathroom reading at its best)

3. I have a crush on Rosie O'Donnell & get really annoyed when people insult her appearance or views. See #1 and #6 for some understanding.

4. Men who "notice" me now but didn't seem to "notice" me 20 lbs ago are a HUGE annoyance to me. I am still HOT regardless of my weight.

5. Being a great mom is one of my proudest accomplishments.

6. I could not see myself having an intimate relationship with another woman, but I am sexually attracted to some women and will act on it if the opportunity presents itself.

7. I may forgive but I never forget.

8. If you tell me I can't do something, I will likely do it in spite of you.

9. I'm leery that #6 was too revealing.

10. I think I feel lonely more often than I should.

11. My favourite feature on myself is my eyes. True green eyes aren't all that common....

12. My life as a blonde has been more fun.

13. My favourite "pet" name was "Kitten".

14. I've been IN LOVE 3 times in my life.

15. But none of these loves will ever live up to what I feel for my daughter....

16. I think about my mother every day.

17. Just typing that brought me to tears. I'm getting emotional in my older years.

18. I'm not surprised at how easy it was to come up with twenty things about me. I'm vain.

19. I’m a feminist. My feminism is about letting women decide for themselves.  I still like it when a man opens the door for me.

20. I have an irrational fear of bees. Oh yes, I've been stung a couple times and I know it hurts, but I've given birth! Albeit, it was a cesarean birth but it still hurt! Whenever a bee comes within my space, I panic. Oh yes, I do try to hide this bee-anxiety but the need to run overcomes me every time. Nipple clamps, now they would hurt too, but I wouldn't freak out and run if I saw them. 

Honey, I'm home.

I'm slowing getting back into the groove with my blog.  I've imported my old posts. Some pictures and things may have been lost but I'll fix that up.  What has it been now?  A year or a year and a half or so since I've last blogged.  I've been browsing my old posts and thinking about how much things have changed and how much I have changed!  Thirty-eight years old and still growing up.  Le sigh.

When my daughter brought this picture home, I was honoured and moved. It meant a lot to me,even though she probably didn't think twice about it.

Blah blah blah

I have become the Queen of Embedding. I haven't had much to say, so I've been trying to entertain you with the music I've been listening to as of late.

I'm working on a paper in my sociology class and the majority of my writing and free time has been spent toward that.

The weather has been fantastic these past couple of days. It has been cool which is an improvement from fucking cold as hell. It amazes me how much the weather affects my mood. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't get so blue if I lived in a warmer climate, one without the harsh winters. I do not see any beauty in winter.